古人曾说：“至要莫若教子。”其实，无论是古代，还是现代，教育孩子这件事，一直都是非常重要的。只有把孩子教育好，一个家庭才可能幸福、和美。家庭是社会的细胞，家庭健康了，社会才会是和谐的。可见，把孩子教育好，对社会也是一个大贡献。
今天，越来越多的父母都感觉到，教育孩子实在是太难了。果真如此吗？其实不是这样的，只是因为我们做父母的没有找到合适的教育方法。其实，教育孩子是一件非常简单的事，仅仅需要父母给孩子做个好样子而已。正如至圣先师孔子所说：“其身正，不令而行；其身不正，虽令不从。”教育孩子也是一样的道理，的确没有什么难的。但有一点必须说明白：父母一定要知道怎样正确地给孩子做样子。因为无论父母做的是好样子，还是坏样子，孩子都会“照单全收”，所以，父母一定要提起教育的敏感度，给孩子做个好样子。
有的父母可能就要问了：“好样子的标准是什么？怎样才能做这个好样子呢？”答案很简单：跟《弟子规》学。《弟子规》就是非常好的教材，里面有“好样子”的标准与规范。《弟子规》既是“照妖镜”，也是“显圣镜”。我们做得好不好，对照《弟子规》就都明白了。我们做得不好，《弟子规》就是“照妖镜”；我们做得好，《弟子规》就是“显圣镜”。通过这面“镜子”，孩子也看得清清楚楚。
说到这里，可能又有些父母纳闷了：“《弟子规》不是给小孩子看的吗？难道我们成年人也要学吗？”是，我们成人、做父母的一定要学《弟子规》，而且是非常深入、用心地去学，而不是仅仅给孩子读读，或者让孩子自己读读而已。
“弟子规”里的“弟子”，并不仅仅是指孩子，而是指每一个人，当然也包括成人。弟子，就是学生。狭义地去理解，弟子是指孩子，小学生、中学生或者是大学生。但广义地去理解，含义就扩大了。比如，我们是父母的孩子，那就是父母的弟子；我们在学校，在工作环境中，我们就是老师、师父的弟子；我们都不是圣贤，有很多智慧和道理要跟圣贤去学，那我们就是圣贤的弟子……
在生活中，我们总是有需要学习的地方，所以我们怎么不是“弟子”呢？也就是说，弟子，是指我们每一个人。只有明白了“弟子”的概念，我们才能塌下心来去学习《弟子规》，才能深入地了解它，进而把《弟子规》里的教诲运用到生活中。
在这个世界上，做什么事情都应该遵循一定的规矩，而不是想怎样做就怎样做。“弟子规”的规，是规范、规矩。没有规矩，不成方圆。那么我们到底应该学习哪些规矩、规范呢？《弟子规》中也有明确的解答。《弟子规》中一共讲到了113件事，这113件事就是我们做人处事的规矩、规范，只有不违越规范地做事，才是合理合法的。也就是说，《弟子规》这本书，是我们每一个人做人处事的典范，是我们人生方向的指引，更是我们教育孩子的纲领。
我们要学的是圣人的教诲，要和孩子一起学。那么，我们要学的是什么呢？是圣人训，也就是圣人的教诲。圣人，狭义地讲，就是孔子，前面我们已经提到，《弟子规》这本书就是根据《论语·学而篇》的“入则孝，出则弟，谨而信，泛爱众，而亲仁，行有余力，则以学文”为中心思想而详细阐述的。但是，广义地说，圣人不仅仅是指孔子，还包括一切古圣先贤、一切有好的德行的人。我们要学的是他们的训诫、他们的教诲。
我们要学这些训诫、教诲，当然，孩子也要学。更确切地说，是我们和孩子一起学。只有全家都来学，才能形成一个良好的氛围，大家才都能有进步，有提升。但是，对这个提升，我们千万不要急功近利，慢慢来，只要按部就班地学，提升就会是水到渠成、自然而然的事情。
学习《弟子规》，一定要更正一个观念，就是《弟子规》不是用来背的，而是用来做的，也就是说，要把《弟子规》里的教诲都做出来，都运用到生活中，即要学以致用，要力行。说到力行，孔子所说的那句话：“力行近乎仁。”懂得力行圣贤的教诲，这个人就离仁者不远了。所谓力行，就是学一句，做一句。《弟子规》里所讲的每一句话，都不是知识，而是力行的标准。所以，如果我们做父母的认为，学《弟子规》就是背《弟子规》，就是读《弟子规》，那就大错而特错了。学了就要去做，不去做，就永远不知道《弟子规》的魅力，就永远不知道《弟子规》的巨大价值。所以，想教育好孩子，就要跟孩子一起学《弟子规》，就要学一句做一句，句句都要在生活中落实。当我们养成落实《弟子规》教诲的习惯时，我们在生活中的一切行为就都是自然的，都是不做作的。当孩子看到我们言行如此一致的时候，就不用我们去教了，他自然会成长为一个让我们省心的好孩子。
我们对《弟子规》不要怀疑，去力行就是了。一定要去力行，去实践，正所谓“纸上得来终觉浅，绝知此事要躬行”，“实践是检验真理的唯一标准”。《弟子规》对教育孩子到底管不管用？我们可以有这个疑问，但用不了多久，我们就会打消它，就会真正相信《弟子规》，因为那时候，孩子变了，我们自己也变了，一切都是那么美好。
Why "Di Zi Gui" is an Essential Classic for Children's Education?
Ancient people once said, "Nothing is more important than educating children." Indeed, whether in ancient times or today, educating children has always been of paramount importance. Only by properly educating children can a family be happy and harmonious. The family is the cell of society; a healthy family makes for a harmonious society. Thus, educating children well is also a significant contribution to society.
The Importance of Parenting
Nowadays, more and more parents feel that educating children is extremely challenging. Is it really so? In fact, it's not as difficult as it seems. The real issue is that we, as parents, haven't found the right methods for education. Educating children is actually quite simple; it merely requires parents to set a good example. As Confucius, the Sage, said, "If the ruler’s personal conduct is correct, his subjects will follow; if his personal conduct is not correct, even his orders will not be obeyed." The same principle applies to educating children. It's indeed not difficult, but parents must understand how to correctly set an example. Regardless of whether the parents' example is good or bad, children will "absorb it completely," so parents must be sensitive to the educational impact they have and set a good example for their children.
Some parents might ask, "What is the standard for a good example? How can we set this good example?" The answer is simple: learn from "Di Zi Gui." "Di Zi Gui" is an excellent textbook that provides standards and guidelines for good behavior. It acts as both a "demon-revealing mirror" and a "saint-revealing mirror." By comparing our actions to the teachings in "Di Zi Gui," we can see clearly where we stand. If we are not doing well, "Di Zi Gui" acts as a "demon-revealing mirror"; if we are doing well, it is a "saint-revealing mirror." Through this "mirror," children can also see clearly.
The Role of "Di Zi Gui" in Education
At this point, some parents might wonder, "Isn't 'Di Zi Gui' for children? Do we adults also need to learn it?" Yes, as adults and parents, we must study "Di Zi Gui" deeply and sincerely, not just read it to our children or have them read it on their own.
The term "di zi" in "Di Zi Gui" does not only refer to children but to everyone, including adults. "Di zi" means students. Narrowly speaking, it refers to children, elementary, middle, or university students. Broadly speaking, the term expands its meaning. For instance, as parents, we are our parents' children and thus their "di zi"; in schools or workplaces, we are the "di zi" of our teachers or mentors; we are not sages and have much wisdom to learn from them, making us the "di zi" of the sages.
In life, we always have something to learn, so how are we not "di zi"? That is to say, "di zi" refers to each one of us. Only by understanding this concept can we genuinely commit to studying "Di Zi Gui," deeply understand it, and apply its teachings in our daily lives.
In this world, everything we do should follow certain rules and not be done arbitrarily. The "gui" in "Di Zi Gui" stands for standards and rules. Without rules, nothing can be accomplished. So, what rules and standards should we learn? "Di Zi Gui" provides clear answers, discussing 113 matters, which are the rules and standards for our conduct. Only by adhering to these standards can our actions be reasonable and lawful. Therefore, "Di Zi Gui" serves as a model for our conduct, a guide for our life's direction, and a principle for educating our children.
Learning and Practicing "Di Zi Gui"
We need to learn the teachings of the sages along with our children. So, what should we learn? The teachings of the sages, which, narrowly, refer to Confucius. As mentioned earlier, "Di Zi Gui" is based on the core ideas from the "Xue Er" chapter of the "Analects," detailing concepts such as filial piety, fraternal duty, caution, trustworthiness, universal love, and the study of literature. Broadly speaking, "sages" include not only Confucius but all ancient sages and virtuous individuals. We should learn their admonitions and teachings.
Of course, children need to learn these teachings as well. More precisely, we and our children should learn together. Only when the whole family learns together can a good atmosphere be formed, leading to mutual progress and improvement. However, this improvement should not be sought hastily. It will come naturally if we follow the steps steadily.
In studying "Di Zi Gui," we must correct a common misconception: "Di Zi Gui" is not meant to be memorized but to be practiced. This means applying its teachings in real life. As Confucius said, "Practicing what one has learned leads to benevolence." To understand and practice the teachings of the sages brings one close to benevolence. Practicing means learning one sentence and implementing it. Every sentence in "Di Zi Gui" is not just knowledge but a standard for action. Therefore, if we think that studying "Di Zi Gui" is just about memorizing or reading it, we are gravely mistaken. We must put the teachings into practice. Without action, we will never understand the true value of "Di Zi Gui." To educate children well, we should learn "Di Zi Gui" together, practice every sentence, and incorporate its teachings into daily life. When practicing "Di Zi Gui" becomes a habit, our actions will be natural and unpretentious. Seeing our consistent behavior, children will naturally grow into well-behaved individuals without needing much instruction.
We should not doubt "Di Zi Gui"; we should practice it. As the saying goes, "Learning from books alone is superficial; the essence must be experienced through practice." "Practice is the sole criterion for testing truth." Does "Di Zi Gui" work for educating children? We might have doubts initially, but they will soon be dispelled as we observe changes in our children and ourselves, making everything more beautiful.
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